Ashes: Sledging and edging over the years
Cricket’s most famous rivalry got underway earlier on Wednesday. And as always when England and Australia clash for the Urn (which contains the iconic Ashes), the sound of bat hitting the ball is not the only one in the playing arena. No, there is a fair bit of chatter and banter going on in the field and in the stands, ranging from the puritan to the puerile to the profane. And contrary to what some believe, this is not a new trend fuelled by the “aggressive media” of the day – it has been going for a while, in fact even before the Ashes came into existence.
Here are some of the most famous “sledges” that have been heard in their rivalry. Will the ongoing series add any to the list?
“You are a cheat, sir. This will lose you the match.”
– Not confirmed but often attributed to Australian pace bowler, Frederick “the Demon” Spofforth, after WG Grace claimed a run out when an Australian batsman wandered out of his crease at The Oval in 1882. England needed just 85 to win the match, but were bowled out for 77, with Spofforth taking an incredible 7-44. The next day, a newspaper carried the now famous Obituary of English cricket. And the Ashes were born.
“Bloody Bradman!”
– Attributed to England captain Wally Hammond at different times during the 1930 series, as Donald Bradman ran up 974 runs – a record that still stands. Strong stuff for those days.
“Well bowled, Harold.”
– England captain Douglas Jardine to his pace bowler Harold Larwood after he had struck Australian captain Bill Woodfull under the heart in the infamous Bodyline series of 1932. The seemingly innocuous words were meant for the non-striker, a certain Don Bradman, who was in particularly being targeted by the English fast bowlers.
“Leave our flies alone, you b*****d. They are the only friends you have got here.”
– An Australian spectator’s snarl at England captain Douglas Jardine, when the latter swatted away a fly on the field, during the 1932 Bodyline series.
“A bloody fine way to start a series.”
– England captain Wally Hammond’s snap at Don Bradman, after the latter had declined to “walk” after seemingly edging a ball to the wicketkeeper in the first Test of the 1946-47 series.
“Sorry, Godfrey. But I have to do it. The crowd are getting bored…”
– Australia’s Keith Miller after peppering England’s Godfrey Evans with a series of bouncers during the 1946-47 series. Evans HAD been scoreless for more than an hour, incidentally.
“Strike one. Strike Two…”
– Australian batsman Lindsay Hassett as he waited for English spinner Tony Lock to bowl to him during the 1958-59 series. Lock had a very suspect action, and was suspected of ‘throwing.’ ‘Strike’ is a term used in baseball, where the ball is thrown rather than bowled.
“Don’t bother shutting it, son. You won’t be out there long enough.”
– England speed merchant Fred Trueman to an Australian batsman who was closing the gate while walking out to bat at Lord’s in 1961.
“Sorry, Fred, I should have crossed my legs.” “No, your mother should have!”
– An irate Fred Trueman snaps at his teammate Colin Cowdrey after the latter had let the ball fly between his legs at slip for four during the 1962-63 series.
“Bounce the c**t”
– Call from Australian captain Ian Chappell to his pace bowlers during the 1972 and 1974-75 series.
“Ashes to Ashes
Dust to dust
If Lillee don’t get you
Thommo must…”
– Famous chant of the Australian crowds during the 1974-75 series during which Dennis Lillee and Jeff Thomson wrecked the English batting line-up, taking 58 wickets between them.
“Who’s this, then? Father f***king Christmas?”
– Australian pace bowler Jeff Thomson reacts to the sight of the grey-haired David Steele coming out to bat at Lord’s in 1975. He had actually forgotten the way to the pitch and ended up in the gent’s bathroom. He still scored 50!
“When are your balls going to drop, sonny?” “At least I am playing for my own country!”
– Australian debutant David Hookes responds to England captain Tony Grieg’s jibe about his age during the 1977 Centenary Test. Grieg was born in South Africa.
“No good hitting me there, mate. Nothing to damage.”
– England’s Derek Randall after being hit on the head by Dennis Lillee during the 1977 Centenary Test. He had shocked the Aussie fielders by walking out, singing “The Sun Has Got His Hat On”
“So, Beefy, how’s your wife? And my kids?” “The wife’s fine. The kids are retarded!”
– Attributed to English all rounder Ian “Beefy” Botham and Australian wicket-keeper Rodney Marsh during the 1981 series.
“At least I have an identity. You are only Frances Edmonds’ husband!”
– Australian wicketkeeper Tim Zoehrer has a go at English left arm spinner Phil Edmonds during the 1987 series.
“What do you think this is – a f**king tea party?”
– Australian captain Allan Border lets England’s Robin Smith know what he thinks of his request for a glass of water during the 1989 series.
“Just turn the bat over. There will be instructions on the back!”
– Australian pace bowler Merv Hughes has a go at Robin Smith in the 1989 series. Smith did score a lot of runs, though.
“Does your husband play cricket as well?”
– Hughes to Smith. Again. In 1989.
“I have faced bigger, uglier bowlers than you, mate. Now f**k off and bowl the next one!”
– Australian captain Allan Border lets English medium pacer Angus Fraser know exactly where he stands in the great bowling pantheon in 1989.
“Tufnell, can I borrow your brain? I am building an idiot!”
– Jibe by an Australian spectator at English spinner Phil Tufnell during the 1991 series.
“Mate, you are not good enough to play for England.” “Maybe, but at least I am the best player in my family.”
– England’s James Ormond reminds Australian Mark Waugh of the shadow cast by his brother Steve Waugh at the Oval 2001.
