English Premier League: Ten things we learnt from the week

Sergio Aguero was the star of the day as City pumped in 3 goals to defeat Chelsea at Etihad. (Source: Reuters)

City fans have a sense of humour

No doubts about the match of the weekend – City’s 3-0 larruping of the holders Chelsea at the Etihad. But while the match was notable for the silky skills of Aguero, Silva and Co. (more on which later), it also showed the City fans at their hilarious best. Chelsea boss, Jose Mourinho, had been in the news when he had a go at his team’s doctor last week. Well, a City fan dressed himself up as a doctor and placed himself right behind the Special One (as Jose is called) during the match. And if that was not enough, every time the Chelsea medical staff ran on to the pitch, they were accompanied by the City fans singing “You are going to be sacked in the morning!” We don’t think Mourinho was amused, but most neutrals (us included) were in splits.

The number of players needed to stop Sergio Aguero (part one)

Well, certainly more than the five who were lined up against the Argentine player near the Chelsea penalty area. You would not have bet on him getting past them all. Ten seconds later, two of them were on the floor, the ball was in the Chelsea net, Jose Mourinho was in a state of shock, and City were a goal to the good. It was sorcery and sleigh of soccer foot at its best from the man nicknamed Kun!

The number of players needed to stop Sergio Aguero (part two)
Aguero might well have scored the goal of the weekend with his opener against Chelsea (read above) but the number of chances he missed might have made rival coaches wonder if it was worth marking the man at all. He missed at least three clear cut chances, including one that we think will already have made it to the shortlist of Misses of the Season (if not the decade) – a wonderful pull back from the touch line had Aguero with the Chelsea goalkeeper at his mercy and all he had to do was tap the ball in; he managed to side foot it wide. One of those chances that are harder to miss than to convert. That wonder goal saved his skin from a hiding in the dressing room, we wager.

John Terry CAN be substituted

All right, we promise this is the last reference to the title summit clash between Chelsea and Man City in this piece. Yes, City surprised everyone by winning three-nothing. But no less surprising was Jose Mourinho’s decision to substitute his team captain, John Terry, at half time. This is the first time that Terry, who for many people is synonymous with the club, was ever taken off by Mourinho in more than a hundred and fifty matches. And no, there was nothing wrong with him – he sat with the other subs with an expression as wooden as the bench he was on. Something breweth there, even though Mourinho assured the media that all was well and Terry remained the skipper of the team.

New United = Old Chelsea

Some might accuse us of being too harsh, but seeing Van Gaal’s team play a curiously defensive game against Aston Villa and getting home by a solitary goal was more reminiscent of the Chelsea of the first Mourinho era, which specialised in 1-0 margins, than in the ravingly rampant United that Sir Alex had got us addicted to. Just two shots on target for a team with the likes of Mata, Rooney and Depay is very strange indeed. A revived Rooney might change matters, although many United faithful might be happy even with the current state of affairs – two matches, two wins, two clean sheets…so what if only two goals were scored.

Romelu Lukaku is a goalscorer AND a gentleman!

Everton striker Romelu Lukaku was in full cry against Southampton. The Blues from Merseyside won 3-0 with two goals from the Belgian striker. But the man won hearts – and rival ones at that – even before the whistle when he ran into the stands to check on a Southampton fan who had been hit by a ball he had accidentally kicked into the stands during the warm-up. Fortunately, she was fine and not so fortunately for Southampton, Lukaku was even better in the match that followed. Manners maketh the man, goals maketh the striker – and Lukaku displayed both at Southampton.

Statistics are a load of nonsense!

Think that statement is a bit extreme? Well, consider the evidence: a team has twice as many shots on goal as the opposition, it hits 31 crosses as compared to 12 by the opposition, it has to clear the ball 19 times as compared to 32 times by opposition, its goalkeeper has to make just one save as compared to four by the opposition, and the team also makes more passes than the opposition. Now for the best part: the team loses 0-3! That was the state of Southampton against Everton. The Saints seemed to be doing everything except scoring, squandering chance after chance, the Toffees on the other hand, grabbed every chance that came their way.

They STILL have not figure out the offside rule!

It has been around for decades and is still befuddling players, officials and commentators alike. We are talking of the offside rule and its various interpretations, which came to the fore in Liverpool’s 1-0 win against Bournemouth. Yes, the goal scorer Benteke (who scored his first goal for the Anfield Reds incidentally) was absolutely on-side, but before that the ball had eluded a blatantly offside Coutinho who had tried to reach it. The referee insisted it was a goal but the offside debate goes on and we feel Bournemouth have a right to feel aggrieved.

It’s City rules so far

Two matches, two 3-0 wins. One over the reigning champions. Unlike the Saints’ stats against Everton, those figures do Manchester City complete justice. The Light Blues from Manchester have hit the ground running and seemed irresistible against Chelsea. Aguero is in the form of his life, Silva seems to be passing delectably, and crucially Yaya Toure and Vincent Kompany have rediscovered the form that had eluded them last season. Yes, manager Pellegrini insists that it is too early to consider them title favourites, but they have pretty much set the benchmark for other teams.

Leicester are at (scoring) sixes, Sunderland are at (conceding) sevens

Two matches into the EPL season, guess which team is sharing the mantle with Man City as the league’s leading goalscorers and have in fact scored as many goals as Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal put together? It is Leicester City! The team, which many had written off as relegation certainties last year, cannot stop scoring under new manager Claudio “Tinkerman” Ranieri. They followed up their 4-2 demolition of Sunderland with a shock 2-1 win against West Ham and are currently second in the league. Speaking of Sunderland, they are propping up the bottom of the league and have leaked seven goals in two matches, and that too against the likes of Leicester and Norwich. Yes, they have scored more goals than Liverpool and Manchester United (who have each scored a measly two, as compared to three by Sunderland) but manager Dick Advocaat must be as worried as Ranieri is elated.